Jour 1

When Dr Karen thought I had shingles but in fact it was tonsillitis

I walked on the slippery pavement in Walthamstow (first time I spell it correctly straight away) with my open Crocs – as usual. And I bought a mesh top with angels on it, like you know the cinelli, I mean not the cinelli because cinelli is a bikes brand. No like the Italian one, very expensive – Italian brand angel on google – oh yeh Fiorucci. Well it’s not Fiorucci at all, they don’t even do mesh top but that reminds me of them. I had fever – like 28.6 degrees and I was losing my mind when I entered the dental practice. I had to fill a document with a greasy pen – I hate those greasy pen really they’re gross – I’m having ocd contamination, I’ve self diagnosed on TikTok. Anyway they ask how many cigarettes I’m smoking so I proudly answered vaping like it was making me somehow better. I heard about popcorn lungs and also honestly I feel worse since I vape but I think it’s because I went to do reflexology and I’m on a healing crisis. Dr Karen wasn’t impressed with my vaping answer, she told me in French -she is not French – that I shouldn’t vape neither, what am I doing really? She said French girl – I’m French – love to smoke. I said yes, I said it was a transition to stop. I mean it wasn’t entirely true but I felt bad telling Dr Karen I was going to keep smoking until I find another healthier coping mechanism. And also I wasn’t here because I vape, no I was here because my tooth infection was spreading and that I wanted to avoid sepsis, I was losing consciousness of her speaking English or French. I asked if she knew why I was here? She laughed and she said, well yes of course, you don’t feel good. After stabbing my gums with a latex covered finger she declared “you’ve got shingles”. When I left I noticed that Dr Karen had lot of plants by the window, each one tagged with this note “don’t touch plant. Dr Karen”. 

Man, I didn’t have shingles, I had tonsillitis.