The cheapest kettle on Argos

A terrific piece of pitch black plastic

adjusting to its new life

in an unfurnished flat

The limescale will be running

Like a disease

there is no vaccine for that

You’ve turned 30 a year ago

It’s tragic

The magic is dead

That’s the less expensive item

on the website and so

Black plastic 

Tickle me 

You twat

You what?

You clicked too many times

on the requested treasure

Just to make tea

oh you fool

You were simply thinking of 

an un discriminative pleasure

Black plastic

You spaz

Spam 

Like the meat in tin

Volage

Actually, the cheapest was out of stock