Various statements (both true and false) about myself (to be pronounced MEself)

_

Hot tough chick riding BMX in Glasgow

is looking for someone

to share taramasalata and vulnerability.

Sweet babe with a harelip and a broken pinkie

is seeking validation

from Irish losers with commitment issues.

Wee lassie with strong foreign accent

wearing tiger printed fleece

is ready to be emotionally detached, standoffish and sober.

Little forlorn fairy

wants to stop pretending

that eating a full bag of honey coated peanuts

is not to fill a gap,

and actually fill the gap.

Half savage half sensitive bird

is willing to talk about stand up comedy and Soviet literature

(Russian speaker is a must, comedian not so much).