J+2

The San Miguel fell off my handlebar

Mercury is retrograde since the 23rd of August. You thought about it, warned your ex lover about it and bam it hits you hard. 

Still. 

You can’t reach the admission team, and Scottish power is being flaky. You can’t fit all of your spices, and the bathroom is already full. Your pink towel is filled with holes and their wok is vintage. Probably from Asia. You don’t have any olive oil and sneak theirs when you want to cook your stir fry from Tesco. They wanted a pescatarian flatmate but you’re coming with your chicken sweet and sour ready meal that stayed out of the fridge for a day. So now you’re afraid of eating it. But you’re also afraid of letting it in the fridge because they wanted a pescatarian and now there is chicken in the fridge which you hope they didn’t notice. You’ve got too many jackets, too many for one body but you can’t get rid of it because that is the only thing you think is stable in your life right now. Your jackets. The raincoat from Petit Bateau that you bought when you arrived in London 8 years ago, and the rabbit fur jacket you bought from your Thai friend because I don’t know, it’s second hand so that’s okay. But now you can’t wear it because you fear your flatmates will disagree because they have a dog and surely they will disapprove on a rabbit fur jacket. Especially because they have a lot of rabbit oriented items in the flat and it must mean they really love rabbits or have a rabbit in their life. Your chopping board is in plastic, and it’s filthy, you had it since you left your parents, so like 15 years ago now. Can you actually keep a plastic chopping board for that long? Surely not, but that is the only chopping board you have, and you like it, because it’s part of you and who you are. But it looks dumb next to their beautiful wooden massive chopping board. You fill the fridge with powerade – the blue one – and cans of beer sometimes, because you’re sad but you feel you shouldn’t cope like that because you saw on Instagram that actually if you want to heal you have to go for a walk, take a bath, read a book and definitely not drinking beers on the terrace by yourself. You’re thinking about writing standup but you can’t even spend a night with your friends without thinking it’s too much to handle, and you have to smile and put a brave face on, because you spent two weeks crying and pacing in the staff room. You think that now is too late to be sad and grieving. And even if everyone is telling you the opposite you still think it’s too much to put on other people. Your phone is not charging, you’re having aerophagia and you lost the little cable to charge your portable charger. Mercury is defo in retrograde and that is not the right time for it.